He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i wish my penis had a tongue
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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