im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
