I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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