And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
