PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
