Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
