Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
