I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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