Christians are straight up FREAKS
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
