She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
