he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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