no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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