? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
