Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She has the best kind of daddy issues
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
