no, he came in my armpit
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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