Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize