I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
