ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
