So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
