Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
