so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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