I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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