Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
