Life is so much better after having sex.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.â€
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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