Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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