i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
