I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
