he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
