you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
