It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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