Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize