I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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