I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
