yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize