On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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