allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
