She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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