white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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