what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
