I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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