I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
