What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
