Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She told me I should be a condom model.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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