I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
