quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
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