so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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