Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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