apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
