6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So vagazzling was a success
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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