That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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