This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
be right there i have to get my cape
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
