I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
