What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
