"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
