hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
