I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
