bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I have feelings that need drinking.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
