i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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