I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
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