My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
