go do what you do best...puke behind churches
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
