Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
You left your phone here
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