he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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