so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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