I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
