This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
