This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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